What if...there really are no stupid questions?
Why asking questions is so powerful
I am constantly asking myself questions, usually in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and my brain is busy trying to work something out. Lately, that is pretty much every night. I am in the midst of a lot of changes and unknowns.
I’m pivoting in my career, investing in myself as a coach and a writer, and taking some bigger risks, like launching this newsletter. I’m also getting back to teaching yoga and struggling with the anxiety that comes when I stand up in front of a room full of people.
Meanwhile, my kids are heading out on their own adventures, leaving me with an empty nest.
Oh, and I’m starting to date again…
It’s a lot, and that’s why all the questions.
“How do I do this?” is one big one I keep asking myself.
My kids have given me purpose for the past 23 years. A single mom, I woke up every morning with a list of tasks to get done and not enough hours in the day to do it all. My kids and being a good mom was my priority, and my goal was to do all the things that would assure they grow into smart, capable, kind human beings.
We went through some tough experiences together, and now, for the first time in a long time, I have the space to focus on other parts of my life, which means I have to figure out who I am aside from being their mom. I’m finding that really hard!
In 2022, I quit my full-time job at a Washington, D.C. association, which offered me financial stability and security but was not my passion. In a leap of faith, I decided to go out on my own and see what it’s like to be an entrepreneur. I started my coaching practice and began working with clients. And I finally got back to working on some creative writing projects that I’ve wanted to complete for a long time.
I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, doing more of what I want to do instead of what I thought I was supposed to do.
It’s scary and challenging and also thrilling and fulfilling. Rather than looking outside myself for answers, I am turning inward to figure out where I’m going and how I want to get there.
Since I could talk, my dad encouraged me to ask questions. No matter what I asked, he was always delighted.
“What a fantastic question!” he would say and instantly make me feel less lost and more like the smartest person in the room.
He was a scientist and, now retired and in his 80’s, he still has an endless drive to explore, experiment, and learn new things. I aspire to be like him in that way.
Asking questions helps me lead with curiosity, and it always surprises me how powerfully I experience that shift. My heart opens, and I can let go of judgment and limiting beliefs.
That’s why I wanted to create this newsletter and community. With a Curious Mind, Open Heart, we’ll ask all sorts of questions and see where they take us.
What happens when you start asking questions and really get curious? I notice that I no longer seek or desire a particular outcome, and I can more easily be in the present moment. I am better able to accept and allow people and circumstances to be as they are. Anxiety and attachment dissipate, and I have more space for grace, acceptance, love, patience, and creativity.
Try it for yourself and see. The next time you are feeling stuck, ask yourself a question or two, and open your mind and your heart to the answers.
Then write to me and tell me about it. What did you notice and how did you feel? I’d love to hear about your experiences and any thoughts you’d like to share.
And send me your questions! Together, we’ll gain clarity, compassion, and the courage to be true to ourselves.
With love,
Dani
Other Ways to Get Involved
Join me and other subscribers for our first meeting of The Magic Hour, in which we spend time together in creative energy, and you can work on whatever project calls to you. It takes place Sunday, November 19, 4:30 - 5:30 pm EST. A link will be available the day before.
Try Alternate Nostril Breathing to feel more grounded and connected. I recently posted a video demo for you in Practices.
Do you like books? Check out Book Club with Lisa and Dani, another venture that I have launched with my friend and fellow coach Lisa Tudor. We are currently reading Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. We will host a live online discussion of the book on December 17. This is free and open to all.
Love this Dani and so good to hear you making space for your questions and desires. Big hugs my friend oxox