“What would you attempt to do if you knew that you could not fail?”
Brené Brown poses this question early on in her book Daring Greatly, which we are currently reading in Book Club with Dani and Lisa (join us!).
What would I attempt to do if I knew that I could not fail? Write, complete, and submit several children’s book manuscripts that I have had sitting around in various stages of development. I have dreams of getting them published.
The problem is that when I sit down to write, I am frequently met with my own harsh, critical thoughts.
“This is a waste of time. You’ll never get published.”
I immediately feel defeated, fatigued, devoid of creativity, and blocked.
Trying to write when these thoughts are loud in my head takes so much effort. It’s a chore. Instead of writing, I prefer to actually do chores like house cleaning and laundry. When I do sit down at the computer, I check my email, the news, Facebook, Wordle…you get the picture. I don’t get much writing done, and I don’t feel good about myself.
If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would sit down and write. Right?
If only it were that easy. It takes effort and practice to do things that make us feel vulnerable. Scroll down if you’d like to see some strategies I use to help me get unstuck and manage the vulnerability I experience with writing.
When does fear of failure come up for you and how do you handle it?
What would you attempt to do if you knew that you could not fail?
Write to me at dani@curiousmindopenheart.com or post in the comments. I’d love to share your aspirations and thoughts in a future post (anonymously if you wish) so we can see and support each other in our attempts at daring greatly.
Some Strategies I Use for Daring Greatly
First, I pause and investigate what is going on that is stopping me. Usually, it’s powerful feelings of vulnerability and fear, as Brené Brown talks about in her book.
Next, I might ask myself a few questions, such as:
How am I defining failure and success in this instance? How can I take the pressure off?
Often, I don’t have a specific definition of success, or it’s so grand that it’s overwhelming. So I try to define a version of success that is concrete and achievable with such small, manageable steps that I really want to do them:
Success today is sitting down in my chair, opening my computer, and preparing to write. Success today is writing for the next 10 minutes.
I take the pressure off by reframing the task at hand with a thought that I can believe and that doesn’t focus on the end result.
I am learning what it takes to write a manuscript.
I deliberately step into curiosity.
Where might I go with this story? Where might my imagination lead me? What can I learn by going through this process? What might happen if I write today?
I can also try to turn the negative thought around and find examples that show how the new thought might also be just as true.
This is not a waste of time.
I’m the boss of me, and I can do whatever I want with my time.
This doesn’t cost me anything. I’m not hurting anyone.
I’ve been wanting to complete this project for so long. I’m wasting my time if I let another day go by and don’t use the time that I have to do it.
It’s no more a waste of time than anything else I might be doing. It’s a better use of my time than (fill in the blank with any of the things I do to avoid and procrastinate).
I’m a work in progress when it comes to all this, but I have now written several manuscripts and can honestly say that I have had fun working on them. It’s true that I might never get published, but I’m trying. I don’t want to have regrets about things I didn’t do because of fear.
And one more thing I do that helps me is co-working. It’s surprisingly effective, and if you want to join me, I’m hosting a co-working session called The Magic Hour this Sunday, November 19 at 4:30 pm EST. Get more info below.
Hope to see you soon!
Dani
Upcoming
Join me and other subscribers for our first meeting of The Magic Hour, in which we spend time together in creative energy, and you can work on whatever project calls to you. It takes place this Sunday, November 19, 4:30 - 5:30 pm EST. A link will be available the day before.
Do you like books? Check out Book Club with Dani and Lisa, another venture that I have launched with my friend and fellow coach Lisa Tudor. We are currently reading Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. We will host a live online discussion of the book on December 17. This is free and open to all.
Work with me
If you are interested in coaching, I offer 1:1 sessions that will help you gain clarity, confidence, and courage so you can reach your goals. Contact me to set up a complimentary session and see what coaching can do for you: dani@curiousmindopenheart.com
I think I would climb a mountain, or explore a deep under water cave or travel into space. That's what I would use my "no fail" pass on.